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 Things That Fade, Snow~
☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Jan 24 2018, 04:05 AM
Quote
491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
Briefly, Snow felt like yelling. It was something that she had been feeling a lot lately. However, in other instances it had been subtle and easy to ignore, just a flicker of annoyance rising to the surface when dealing with others. This was not a flicker of annoyance. Snow was highly aware that she was actually angry at Caerwyn, but she was not entirely sure he recognized that. He did not seem to realize how tempted she was to tell him that he had to choose- that it was either her or his work. She was not sure he understood how much she felt, for the first time in centuries, that she should be selfish.

She was not a selfish person. If anything, Snow was someone who thought of others far more than she thought of herself. It was a truth that had existed even when she had been a child. It was easy to recall the child who had thought to ask Santa to give a gift to her mother at the price of her own even though she had been ignored for a year. She might have argued that selfishness came later, but even then it had not. The child in the woods had still given when she had known it to be foolish and the lonely queen had held her moments- moments that had seemed to exist beyond the haze of insanity and a need for justice- where she had wanted others safe and unburdened by her own pain.

When had been the last time that she stopped and thought about what was good for Snow White? She...could not entirely say. Perhaps it had been with Phobos, but even that seemed debatable. Most of her relationship with him seemed to be marked more by worrying about him and trying to help him instead of anything akin to a romance.

It should have been easy to tell him that he could not treat her this way. Yet the words would not leave her. It seemed unfair to give him such an ultimatum, not only because it was a cruel choice but because she was not sure if she wanted the answer.

It was better to not ask questions one did not want the answer to.

She chuckled at his question, though it came out sounding fairly grim. "It cannot happen over night," she said, echoing his previous words, and she found she was not entirely sure if she was mocking him. After all, it was the truth. "But if it is to stop it will be when I stop feeling like I am just surviving and living." Her gazed focused on him, sharper. "Dying is a bit different than falling after all." It felt like enough to say. After all, she did not feel like explaining the true root, how dying had stripped her of an identity she felt she sorely needed but could not find. At least...not yet.

For a moment, she paused. Her expression was introspective. After a long moment, it seemed to smooth out, a clear determination within her gaze. She had made up her mind. "You are correct that this will not take a day," she finally said, "So, I forgive you." She had always believed in second chances and Caerwyn was admittedly someone she would not send away due to a bit of anger. It would take more than this. "But you have lost some of my trust." She turned a sorrowful gaze upon him, a rare gaze into the deep ache that often lay within her. "I do not think you understand what your actions have done, brother. I have spent months questioning whether you truly consider our bond true or whether I am merely disposable. I refuse to live questioning whether someone who should be my brother truly cares for me."

She seemed to deflate, as if a burden. "If you cannot understand, then I will explain...explain why I worry," she muttered, frown deepening, "Though...only if you tell me of yourself."

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Jan 28 2018, 04:02 PM
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

He expected it to be ugly, that hteir meeting would not be especially pleasant. Though, he couldn’t help but notice the tension. He could feel her sharp anger, digging deeper and deeper - pent up things she grew irate with bubbling on the inside. He also knew that she, as much as he, didn’t want to back down - she was a stubborn sort of person, sharply believing in her ideals. And so when she put her mind to something, she didn’t back down. This would...be the first time that really put them head to head.

It felt strange, being up against Snow like this.

He was, though, glad that she seemed to understand at least the depth of the situation. That he couldn’t just drop everything so suddenly. He’d dug himself into a deep, deep hole; he couldn’t just pop back up to the top, he had to take time and crawl back up. He swallowed thickly, following her words and nodding. Death and falling….of course they would be different. That he at least knew for sure; when he had died, it had been knowing what would happen. He had made a vow with Charles; he had known what would come afterward. But this….this was different. Her death had been what she expected to be final. She had lost what was her life, and then suddenly it was….thrown back at her by some mysterious being in the stars.

It wasn’t easy.

He wasn’t surprised to hear that he had lost her trust - that honestly was the only outcome he could have anticipated from all this. He was a little shocked that she would forgive him, but overall the result was what he had...anticipated. He gave another silent nod, closing his eyes. It was odd, he felt both weighted down and as though that weight had been lifted, simultaneously. Different weights for different feelings….it was a mess inside his head. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

”I sort of expected that. It’s what I deserve at the very least. But I’m….” Caer, too, deflated, looking down. ”I can’t exactly say anything about what happened. I sort of let it happen without realizing and just….and this is the result. If….if you can explain more….that will help....communication is key….I don’t want to get the wrong idea and think it’s right….you know? But for myself….I’ll tell you anything that you want to know. It’s been….a while. There’s a lot to say. What….” He swallowed. ”Do you want to hear about?”
MOMO
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Jan 28 2018, 10:26 PM
Quote
491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
Snow had always been better at reading people than she let on. It was an old trait, something she had learned as Margaretha. However, she had long ago stopped allowing her perception to stay at the forefront. There had been no need for it, whether she was an angel or an immortal. Her position in the balance had not required the perception- or the manipulation- that she had needed as royalty. As such, it was relatively easy to see that Caerwyn had not expected her forgiveness. Part of her felt a great sorrow at such a fact. Did he know so little about her to expect her to hold a grudge?

She pursed her lips. "Everybody deserves a second chance," she said quietly, "Betterment or change cannot happen unless an opportunity is provided." She was aware that the words seemed random, as he had neither asked or mentioned the subject but she found herself with the need to mention it. Let him ignore the subject if he must.

She let out a breath, organizing her thoughts. She did not speak about her past often, something which she knew Caerwyn was at least aware of. After all, her secretive nature was nothing new. It had been present even as an angel, if not worse. In fact, she was quite sure that she could count the amount the amount of people who knew either the entirety or most of it on one hand. "Very well," she said quietly.

Still, she was adamant of not saying anything until he told his part. "Your human years," she said simply, "Exactly what you wish to say is up to you. It is not like I know anything about it."

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Feb 1 2018, 01:48 AM
Quote
831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

TW for slavery n shit
He wasn’t really sure that he felt he deserved another chance. He knew why she was saying that...it was just a part of how Snow was as a person. She could get angry….scary angry….but that wasn’t the sort of thing that she usually held onto. Because if she did, there was no way she could possibly have made it as an Angel. That didn’t mean he….felt he deserved it, though. Hadn’t he gone too far? It wasn’t intentional no...but he’d still gone so far, still left her until she had fallen so far all on her own...he definitely didn’t deserve it.

Still, the point she made was valid. Betterment could only happen if a chance was given; condemnation eliminated any chance of improvement completely. Caer swallowed thickly, nodding his head in silent agreement. He felt sheepish; she’d seen right through him, and was schooling him in wisdom. She really wasn’t all that different from Charles sometimes. It was no wonder she was one of his most highly regarded Angels.

She asked to hear about his human years. He sort of expected that, but all the same there was a small wave of dread. He swallowed again, taking a deep breath. ”I can do that. I can...yeah.” He looked up then, meeting her eyes. ”I guess I should just sort of start by saying...it’s all stuff I’ve come to terms with. So just, don’t feel bad.” He bounced on the balls of his feet - less out of excitement and more out of anxiety, awkwardness, because this was hard to talk about for him, even now. More because it was just….people tended to pity him when he did and that was awkward to deal with. But he hoped that Snow wouldn’t.

”My mom was taken when she was pregnant with me. I don’t know the details about it, I never asked, but she was….you know.” He gave a shrug, looking away. ”Slave. You know. That stuff…so that’s where my life starts. Just so you know.” Well, that was one way to set the tone. ”When I was born, she was allowed to keep me - because, y’know, back then the whole...breeding slaves was sort of a benefit….more free workers when they were old enough. I think they only kept me because I was a boy though. But...anyway...mom and another slave raised me, and like….my young years weren’t that bad...I mean, comparatively. They weren’t awful to me...sure I did stupid kid stuff but they were never awful or punished me. But that’s…” He looked down and sighed. ”Because mom was taking the punishment for me. She was giving everything up...for me.”

A deep breath. ”I got older….I wasn’t exactly what they wanted though. I mean….looking at me….they wanted someone that could work on the yard. Stronger...muscular….but I’m...just kind of a stick. A pretty stick, but a stick. Mom had to really fight to keep them from taking me to the market. I really thought that was going to be it, but….” Caer’s chest tightened, and he took another deep breath. ”The youngest daughter of that family….she really liked me. Most of her family didn’t really treat her too good, she wasn’t conventionally pretty. But she was around my age so I tried to play with her sometimes….and she was able to convince her parents to let me stay. So y’know….it wasn’t…all bad, right? It was sort of...I had people. My mother and Eirian. But um…” Caer laughed bitterly. ”Then I became a teenager and oh boy was I a stupid little shit….”

Caer took that moment to sit down, not really able to focus on Snow any more. ”Eirian was a cute girl to me….she talked to me and was nice, I saw her all the time...and I mean, I really was cute….so the two of us kinda….we liked each other. We figured we’d keep it quiet, like, we could sneak around behind our parents’ backs...but like...we were just stupid teenagers y’know? So they….found out about it. About us. Eirian got locked up in her room and I um…” Caer clenched his hands into fists in his lap. ”Did I ever tell you about how….I’m afraid of fire? Why it scares me?”

There was a long pause then. He wasn’t sure….how he wanted to address this part. It wasn’t pretty. ”....The punishment for me was….the way they put it...I still remember this part, word for word….’the feeling of Eirian will be burned from your skin’. That was what they said to me. I’d never….we never actually did…anything....I’d never touched her, they just...they assumed...so they….” Caer closed his eyes, taking another slow, deep breath. He wasn’t going to panic or break down. It was okay. He was fine. Everything was okay. ”They didn’t kill me though. That was just a punishment. It hurt….so bad. They were going to keep me away from her to heal up, so they could take me away and get what they could for me. But Eirian heard about it...she found out what happened….killed herself...drank poison to stop her heart….” Another bitter, manic laugh. ”I just kind of...I prayed….I prayed to God it was all just some shitty dream and wasn’t really real….and then the rest I guess….the rest should be uh….you know. Charles and all that.”

Even after he was done, he didn’t look up. ”I guess it must seem weird that I smile so much. That I’m happy like I am most of the time.”
MOMO ;;_;;
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Feb 2 2018, 05:14 AM
Quote
491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
Snow was not entirely sure what she had expected. The request had purposely been open-ended, as she had expected some form of tragedy. After all, it was not unusual for angels to come to Charles due to tragedy. If anything, it might have been a bit odder if there wasn't. After all, Charles' miracles required selflessness...or she was pretty sure they did. It was the Void that acted in a more selfish manner, taking and tricking. She just supposed that she had not been sure about what sort of tragedy he might have faced.

Slavery, she mused, was not unsurprising despite the flicker of empathy it brought her. After all, slavery had been commonplace when she was a human. That Caerwyn had experienced it was even less surprising. If anything, it reminded her a great deal of the past and certainly not for the better.

A foul taste seemed to linger on her tongue.

She continued to listen. It was what she had always been best at, and in this moment it seemed to be the best option when it was clear that Caerwyn struggled with the subject. While she found a feeling of empathy towards Caerwyn, there was a greater feeling of sorrow. That Caerwyn had gone through so much was a tragedy.

"Not particularly," she finally said, "You said you've come to terms with it, no? Moving on from events is a sign of strength, particularly if you are able to find joy afterwards." It was, she knew, something she was not entirely able to do yet. While happiness did not entirely elude her, certain aspects of her past still haunted and clung to her.

Rolling her jaw, she frowned. She supposed that it was her turn to explain. She was not entirely sure where to start. Perhaps the beginning, she mused. Releasing a sigh, she began. "My real name is Margaretha von Waldeck. Who I was as a human is not someone you would have liked, not someone most people would have liked." Beginning felt like stepping back and viewing things from a distance. It felt almost as if she were not really there. "You have to understand I was royalty. So, in the beginning I grew up rather distant from my parents. I can't recall seeing my father much, if at all, when I was a child. My mother-" Her throat tightened. "Well, my mother is a complex subject."

She paused, considering where to begin. "My mother tended to visit me a bit more than was considered proper," she said quietly, "It was nice, at first. Until I was seven. At that point she stopped seeing me at all. I was...naive. I didn't know what was wrong, but I tended to chalk it down to her being busy or other innocent excuses. In reality, my mother was a vain and narcissistic woman. I suspect she may get have also been mentally unwell." Her expression stayed carefully stoic. "Whatever excuses I had were crushed when my mother abandoned me to a forest to die."

It hurt to think about it. Her mother had likely known how attached she was. After all, she had tricked her, used the excuse of spending time together so that she might abandon her. It was probably why she was so unwilling to forgive her mother even if she probably was insane. Her mother had snatched onto unconditional love and used it like it was a weakness. But then...love seemed to always work as a weakness for Snow.

"I was only eight; I didn't realize I had been abandoned. How could I? She was my mother. I thought I was lost," she said, voice cracking, "I realize though, later. I stayed in that forest for six years and by the time I was found I was some apathetic creature who struggled to care for those around me." Her lips dipped into a frown. "Especially my parents. If anything, I found it easier to ignore them. They...well, a prince found me. Kind of like the story, yeah? He wanted to marry me and my father agreed. I was too young though, so he had to court me for about two years. It was young, but not so young that people would gossip."

Now though, she could not keep the sorrow and anger off her face. She had not been able to get past this past the anger towards her husband she had. "I told you most of what happened in my first years of marriage, but I didn't tell you everything." She didn't look particularly guilty. After all, this was information she had not shared with Ares and tended to not speak about with Charles. Whether or not he knew was something she was unsure about. "My husband and I didn't consummate our marriage immediately. I didn't love him and I definitely was nowhere near ready to consummate a marriage I had not wanted to be in. He waited and, foolishly, I thought our marriage could become something where we merely tolerated each other's existences. However, he eventually got sick of waiting."

She stayed silent for a long moment, trying to gather herself. It was always hard to speak about this part. "What I didn't tell you was that I got pregnant," she whispered, "I remember being happy. It was the only positive thing in my life at the time." She gave a hollow laugh. "I probably shouldn't have gotten so attached; I'd already learned several times what happens when I do." It was hard to force the next words out. "He was a stillborn. I just...it was like my heart had been ripped out, yeah?" she whispered, "I know it was definitely what tipped me over the edge. Just kind of lost faith in the world, in love and justice, and believed that I should make sure they exist. I...don't think I was quite sane after that, truth be told. Remembering my later human years is like viewing things through glass."

She grew tense. She hated talking about who she had been as a leader and worried that explaining it might bring judgement. "I wasn't a good person after that," she muttered, "There was a lot of hate and I'd formed myself into someone manipulative and cruel, but not...unaware. I tricked my mother and sentenced her to death., much like the story. I suppose only the lie was different. From there...I guess you could say my husband was a puppet king- he was the brawn and I was the brains. I know he was terrified of me, but also relied on me a lot. Like I said though...I was not unaware. I knew what I was doing was wrong; I can recall constantly thinking that God would never forgive me." Her lips curved into a sad smile. "Maybe he did. I know that I probably would have never changed had it not been for one of my ladies in waiting."

She felt a wave of sorrow fill her. She didn't think about her friend often, if only because a self-loathing often came with such thoughts. "She...gave me a second chance, offered me kindness when nobody else would," she said hoarsely, "And then she almost died because of me. I'd gained a lot of enemies even though it wasn't common knowledge that I was more at the helm than my husband. She'd accidentally consumed something that had been poisoned and been meant for me." Her lips twitched. "It's...how I became an angel. I cared a lot more for her life than mine, wanted her survive no matter the cost." A brief spark of humour entered her expression and she gave a low chuckle. "When Charles came I thought he was the devil," she mused, "I was convinced I was going to Hell despite the path for penance I'd placed myself on by that time. What sort of person offers someone doomed for damnation what he offered?" Snow frowned. "By the time I had realized...some form of the truth, I was more than willing to accept. Ironically, I was poisoned not soon after. One of the few facts about me that history actually got right I suppose."

She blinked owlishly. "That's...why I worry. Love...has always hurt me, and even though I try to be kind I have had my kindness met with thanklessness in both the past and present." She sighed. "As such, I tend to find it hard not to worry when you ignore me for so long."

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Feb 6 2018, 12:42 AM
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

Even though she didn’t speak at first, he could feel what she was feeling. It wasn’t a nice story, but he’d done her the respect of not toning it down; she wanted to know the truth, so he’d given it to her. Still, he’d tried to make it clear that he had come to terms with that. And it seemed that as much as she was feeling for him, she’d at least understood that part. He was glad she didn’t get angry - at least beyond the expected amount. It was weird, though, he knew he was okay with….well. Not okay with it, but he knew he’d come to terms with it, but even with that he was having trouble talking about it. It was one thing to accept the truth and another to bring it up with someone else - especially someone close.

That was harder than he’d ever thought it could be.

He blinked at her words, surprised by what they meant. Strength…..he’d always sort of wondered if it was just his way of trying to make up for something he didn’t have when he was alive, running away from reality. But maybe...being able to be happy...instead of wallowing in pity and anger and succumbing to hate or vengeance...maybe it was a kind of strength after all. He’d never thought of it like that. But now….it was Snow’s turn. He knew…..parts of her story, but there was….more to come. And he was afraid, because he didn’t know if he was ready.

Margaretha von Waldeck, royal princess. Their stark opposition was almost laughable, but he didn’t envy her position; royalty was just as much shackling as slavery. It was just a slavery of a different kind. Even he knew that; Eirian had been bound by her role, Caerwyn had been the only one willing to treat her like a normal girl. That was the entire reason that she’d fallen in love with him.

As Snow spoke, he chose not to look at the threads. This time she was going to be the one to tell him everything, he wasn’t allowed to peek. So, he listened quietly. Their oppositions were only increasing; a mother who loved her son despite the circumstance of his birth….a woman who left her daughter to die in the woods. How truly different tehy were. And how truly lonely she was. But to think she’d been left to the woods for six years or more….how had she survived at all?

At the mention of the Prince though, Caer stiffened. He knew this part….the part that he loathed so deeply, deplored the most. He didn’t speak, but he visibly bristled. That man….no. Not a man. A kind of monster. “He got tired of waiting” was a nice way of putting it….but still Caer held his tongue. He swallowed thickly as Snow spoke more - about…..

A child.

...No, that wasn’t right. Because Caer would’ve seen a thread connected to her - directly to her core - if she’d had a child. So then why didn….

….He’d figured it out even before Snow spoke again, with a sick twist in his stomach. The threads were only forged after birth, which could only mean one thing. To lose a child like that….never to hear their laugh or see their smile….or to wipe away their tears….he couldn’t say he was surprised she’d snapped by then. The one good thing taken from her….but now the question came….what had she done after that? She said that he wouldn’t have liked her….

He became curious at the mention of this….lady in waiting. A girl who gave kindness...he felt Snow’s sorrow, and swallowed, doing his best to bear it without showing. He winced at the mention of poison; yet again, a parallel between them, though in opposition; Eirian had been the one to drink poison, though in her case, it was intentional. She hadn’t wanted to live in a world without Caerwyn. So they both….had given their lives to save their poisoned companions. It really was….almost a laugh.

It made sense now though. Love was cruel to her….horrible to her….so it was no wonder she couldn’t believe in it. Love had neglected her, and so now….someone who stood for love….someone who was family….when he ignored her, too…

Caer didn’t speak at first, just bowed his head and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her. He didn’t cry, didn’t speak, he just held onto her. Finally, though, he glanced up with emerald eyes that held conviction. ”I get it.” he murmured, slowly, softly. ”I get it, and I’m here. And if it hurts….and you want to cry, that’s okay. I’m here for that, too.”
MOMO
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Feb 6 2018, 03:30 AM
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491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
The silence that followed felt deafening. Snow had no idea how Caerwyn was going to react, but she knew that she wanted more than silence. Silence was uncomfortable and left her to fill in the blanks herself. She was aware enough to know that anything she would come up with in regards to what he could be possibly thinking would not only be bad but probably inaccurate. After all, most of what lingered in her mind was negative, based far more on her hidden insecurities than reality.

She tensed as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. Stiffly, she did not react. She had always known that Caerwyn was far more comfortable with physical touch than herself. As she could see now, it was one of many things that made them different. However, she was not entirely sure how to react now. It had been a long time since she had actually touched someone. Perhaps the last person had been Ryder- if anything she did as a drunk counted, anyway- and he...she was not entirely sure if she wanted to think about him right now.

Her throat felt tight and, as Caerwyn spoke, it was as if the dam had been opened. She was crying, though she had little idea as to why. Perhaps everything. It was not as if the last year had been pleasant. If anything, it had been full of many, small unpleasant things that had simply grown into a mess. Worse, it seemed, as of late, as if everyone she cared about was slowly leaving her.

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Feb 6 2018, 10:29 PM
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

It wasn’t bad to cry. It was normal, a normal thing that people did. Some people had a hard time accepting that, didn’t want it to show. Others felt that a lack of tears meant a lack of empathy. Snow was somewhere in the middle...she didn’t cry a lot, but the feelings were there. And usually it just….took someone reaching out and telling her that it was okay in order to draw them forward.

Actually she cried a lot when she was with him. It was like that was what he existed to do - to make her cry. But that was...it wasn’t nice to think. To imagine that he had to give her permission...why didn’t she cry normally? Why did she always wait until she hit the boiling point before letting her emotions show? That was the worst way...emotions weren’t supposed to be caged like that. That was bad for you….

But then again so was spreading yourself so thin you couldn’t keep track of people any more. They both had stuff to work on, that wasn’t going to change. So for now, Caer just held onto her- held her close, held her safely, so that she knew that it was okay...so that she was allowed to cry as long as she wanted. Right now that was all he existed for: to let Snow cry. And right now...that was okay.

He wanted to say and do more for her, though. This was a good start or whatever, but he wasn’t going to convince her that he’d stick around by just hugging it out with her from time to time. He had to really show he meant it. He didn’t pull back - he’d let her do that when she was ready - but he did tighten his hold a little. ”How about….from time to time….no. How about….we set up a day. One day each month….that we have to do something together. It could be Guardian stuff….or just….tea or something….but on that day of each month, we have to go do it no matter what. And if we can’t we have to tell the other and reschedule another day, but we can’t skip it completely. How would….that sound to you?”
MOMO
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Feb 7 2018, 01:08 AM
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491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
Snow was not good with showing her emotions, whether it was sorrow or joy. The blame for such behaviour was easy to point to. She knew that the problem lay in her life as a human. She had spent some of her most important years as a child in complete isolation. She could recall coming across a few individuals during her time in the forest and none of those memories were particularly happy ones. Moreover, she never saw another human during those years until she was actually saved. Where another child would have been interacting and developing, she had been struggling and surviving.

She was not a fool. She knew that difference had left scars. She had not only stepped out of the forest apathetic. She had stepped out of it without any clue as to how she should socialize with others and it was something that still stuck in the form of a social awkwardness that caused her to stumble even when she tried to be kind. It had probably not helped that the only help she had gotten had come in the form of royal expectations and mannerisms. Such an atmosphere had only encouraged some of her mannerisms despite the extroverted expectations of a Court.

She did not like admitting that though. After all, she had tried to become better. However, even with advice and explanations she found herself terribly confused.

Thankfully, the tears eventually stopped, though she would never be able to say if it was because she had run out or a weight had been lifted. She allowed a silence to settle, only turning her attention to Caerwyn as he finally spoke up. She took in his words. The idea was something she could admit to liking. It rang similar to what she often did with Charles, except it was more concrete. After all, she could trust her father to meet her from time to time. This was something a bit more solid and that she could rely on. In some sense, she knew that it would also work well with her tendency to worry and think the worst.

"Okay," she finally agreed, "But it can't be for work." She didn't want to admit it, but the fact that they seemed to always cross paths in the past because of Guardian related business irked her and had been part of the reason why she was upset. It had made his meetings feel like obligations. If they ere going to meet, then she wanted it to be something a bit more natural.

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Feb 10 2018, 11:53 PM
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

By nature as a social creature, Caerwyn would admit wholly he was flighty. He just….he had a hard time sticking to one person; he was always worrying about others, wondering about their lives. He had too many friends not to think about everyone else, but his own concept of love and friendship just didn’t fit how most others viewed it. For Caer, it was easier to meet up once in a while, say hello, maybe hug, and be back on his way. But for some people that was too indifferent, too aloof. They just couldn’t see it as love...and he understood that. It wasn’t how he viewed things, but it was understandable. “Understandable”, though, didn’t immediately make him any better at fixing the issue.

So having something like this - something binding - something that would absolutely force him to follow through with it - was good. He wasn’t normally the sort of person who went along with schedules, but if he set himself a deadline, he absolutely followed it. He never had any issues with that, not when he knew that there was an absolute deadline. Being more loosey-goosey, it was only when one wasn’t set that he got himself lost to the wayside.

He was glad to hear Snow liked the idea, giving a short nod to her stipulation. He had a similar sort of arrangement with Paigen, but theirs specifically was for work; they’d occasionally hunt down Nightmares together, and for them, that was a bonding exercise. But for Snow...she didn’t want that, and that was okay. He gave a nod, stepping back again. ”Okay. Then, do we want to do something the same every month? Like monthly cafe or tea or something...or just meet up, and then do something different each month itself?” He was okay with either really.
MOMO
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Feb 12 2018, 01:14 AM
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491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
Snow's brow furrowed as she mused over the idea. The entire idea was incredibly reminiscent to what she did with Charles, only more rigid. However, she was quite sure that she wanted to take away some amount of the rigidity. The only reason that she and her father often did the same things when the spoke was because of how Charles was. She knew quite well that her father enjoyed tea and having conversations over it suited her quite well, particularly since she was not adverse to the set up herself.

She did not want the same with Caerwyn. She did not fully know her brother. While she could claim him as such, she understood quite well that many others could claim to know her brother far better than her. It was not entirely right since she theoretically should know him quite well. After all, they had both once been angels and she had not spent her entire time as one as an Archangel even if she had gained that title quickly. She should know more than she did.

Yet, she was not sure if Caerwyn felt the same. Did he just want to have tea? Would he prefer to always do something different? She knew her own answer well enough, but she did not want to create a situation where they would be uncomfortable. "What would you prefer?"

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Feb 15 2018, 11:05 PM
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

He sort of hoped that she wouldn’t mind a bit of…..variety in what they did. But, all the same, he put the option out there - that if she wanted, they could just have tea every month. Structure wasn’t his style, but he wanted her to feel comfortable in suggesting it just the same. So when she did come out and instead…..asked him what he would prefer, he was pretty glad.

Caer bounced a little on his toes, pressing his lips together. ”It’d be nice to do something different….maybe not, like...anything crazy, but something different each time if we could. Just...like….something we can do within the area that sort of fits what you enjoy and what I enjoy. How does that sound?” He was pretty sure she’d be okay with it. She enjoyed stability like Charles did, but honestly he wasn’t too bothered - she was at least more flexible than he was. He chuckled, shaking his head. ”We could do tea the first time though, I think that’s fine. A nice way to catch up. Nice and social.”

Even if tea wasn’t his favourite thing, he did enjoy it now and then. It was relaxing.
MOMO
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Feb 16 2018, 04:27 AM
Quote
491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
With an attentive ear, Snow took in what Caerwyn had to say. Thankfully, his own thought process seemed to be along the same lines as her own. Slowly, a small smile came to the angel's face. "That sounds good to me," she admitted. Quietly, she kept the fact that they probably would end up doing something that the redhead thought was crazy to herself. Better to let her brother learn the parts about her that he was not familiar with through experience.

She rolled the idea of tea in her head, before grimacing. "No thanks," she finally said, "I am sure we can figure out something to do later. Besides, tea is more of a thing father enjoys than me. There a specific place you want to meet up at?"

heartache


CARMA
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☽ CAERWYN SAGITTAR
 Posted: Yesterday at 12:51 am
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831 • Former Human • Love • Ireland


Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

Oh thank gosh. She was okay with different. That was good. Caer released a soft sigh, nodding slowly as he tapped his collarbone idly with his index and middle finger, creating a dull rhythm that seemed to entertain him, occasionally adding his ring finger to make an almost drum-like beat. He did have to smirk, though, at the mention of father and tea. He was like….if he wasn’t what he was, Caer totally would assume he was the personification of tea. Or maybe the personification of Britain or Japan or something, those people loved their tea.

”I wonder if he actually, literally has tea for blood sometimes. Or if that’s why he gets so high strung.” he snickered, quietly relishing in the opportunity to sass the conceptual entity. ”But um, somewhere...to meet. Somewhere to be our usual place….” He wet his lips, going back to his rhythmic taptapping against his chest. They were both from the European end of the world, but did that make a good place to meet? Maybe somewhere especially noteworthy or something...what was a good place to meet?

Now that he thought about it, he was actually bad at this. It had to be somewhere nice or meaningful….god, he sucked at this. Why couldn’t he think of anywh--oh. Oh! Oh!

”Oh, oh! Oh. How about...um, um, name…..hang on…..” He shut his eyes, scrunching his face as he snapped once, twice. ”Prague….the city out of a fairytale. Or that’s what they call it. It’s really pretty there. And not far from where you grew up I don't think, across the Czech border. Unless you'd rather meet...maybe not anywhere near that place...I know I don't...where I was born I mean.” He scrunched his face. "Is there anywhere that's important to you?"
MOMO *Throws random ideas into the wind*
BY MITZI
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☽ SNOW WHITE
 Posted: Yesterday at 01:56 am
Quote
491 • Archangel/Former Human • Purity • Nomad


If this is as close as I get to heaven Then I won't worry No I won't worry And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry No I won't worry If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down If I fly too close to the sun If I fly too close to the sun Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down Please don't shoot me down The closer I get I feel your static It's all around me It's all around me, na na And you know I'm being honest When you go, there's only silence So I won't worry
An amused look crossed Snow's face. She knew father would have been slightly annoyed at the teasing, but it was a valid point. As kind and caring as the ancient entity was, she had always thought Charles to be a bit too stiff at times. Even the slightest of curses from her always brought a frown to his face and the actions of certain dark beings always seemed to have...well, she supposed irritate was the best way to describe it. Though, she could not say if such a description was accurate.

No, she found herself thinking, He doesn't. But then, it probably isn't much of blood either. She had to bite her lip as the train of thought felt fairly dark and brought up uncomfortable imagery. She didn't like being reminded of how Charles had been more than willing to take a literal fall so that she would not be harmed because of her own folly. It brought up too much guilt, though...father was certainly aware of that she supposed.

"I imagine that has more to do with his age," she said instead, a chuckle lurking within her voice, "That and perhaps his paternal nature. I imagine looking to so many and considering them your children would make anyone high strung." It wasn't like the angels made anything easier either. She knew she certainly had not.

Her brow furrowed. "Ah, yeah." She knew that wasn't where her parents had been from. They'd been from the scattered mess that had been the Germanic countries. "New York City," she said immediately, offering no explanation. If Caerwyn was truly curious, he could simply ask. "But Prague is probably better. Besides, it isn't like that place is without any happy memories."

heartache


CARMA
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